Matt Shea
RubySoho
Morgan Bell
Cibbuano
David O'Connell
Mountain Fog
Transformers
June 22nd 2007 12:45
It's simple. Do you like robots fighting and breaking stuff? Then you'll love Transformers, a movie about two races of transforming robots, the Autobots and the Decepticons, fighting over the fate of Earth.
Transformers is based on the 80s toy and cartoon series... nearly every male of my demographic (24-29) grew up desperately wishing to be taken away by the Transformers and converted into a transforming robot. I wanted this so bad that I used to 'practise' transforming into the few shapes that I could manage, ie. a chair, a mat, part of the wall, etc.
Needless to say, this ultra-violent movie scratches a more-than-seven year old itch that has been festering with dreams and nostalgia. No expense has been spared, neither on the filmmaking nor the marketing side, ensuring that this 4th of July release will be the hit of the summer.
Skeptics were fretfully worried that Michael Bay would drop the ball on this, and packs of fanboys sharpened their canines in preparation for a deadly advance on Bay's studio. They can rest assured, however, that Transformers will live up to the hype.
Robots fighting. And breaking stuff.
In fact, this review is pointless. You're already going to see this, aren't you? I probably couldn't even convince you otherwise. I went to a cafe after the movie to reflect on what I'd seen, and the barista was stunned that I had already seen it, 'You've seen it? How fantastic was it? This movie is basically the reason for my existence.'
Heavy words from a coffee-slinger, but it echoes a common sentiment in the English speaking world.
Michael Bay directed movies such as Armageddon, Bad Boys and The Rock, and you'll see tinges of the same sentiments in Transformers. He's a big budget director, a rock star among artists. I wouldn't say that he added anything special to the film, other than the heavy doses of pro-American military moments, and a thick layer of fromage.
What he does bring to the show, or at least enables, is the stunning special effects.
Every summer, there's a one-up on the special effects, with Lord of the Rings having a chokehold on the belt for a couple of years. Lately, it was 300 that brought people to their knees in the throes of CGI-ecstasy.
Myself, I couldn't give a damn about the effects, but I have to admit that Transformers comes out real nice. REAL nice. The violence and carnage looks very realistic and is seemlessly blended in with the human actors, giving the audience a desperate appreciation for how dangerous the Transformers really are.
This is a good looking show, and Bay uses his trademark fast-editing techniques to dramatize the production, like his music videos.
In fact, this is an MTV generation movie, and it shows. There's hardly a slow moment before something blows up or gets shot, and Transformers succeeds in driving the audience to adrenaline-soaked levels. The premiere audience cheered raucously at Optimus Prime's appearance, and the boo-yah! beatdown he brings on the Decepticons.
There's a certain magic to be appreciated when you first see a robot transform on the big screen. Your body virtually regresses backwards through puberty, leaving you in awe in a childlike state, gaping at the screen. We've waited a long time, and it's finally here.
I say: Definitely an experience on the big screen. Bring an extra shirt - mine was soaked with sweat by the end.
See it for: John Turturro, one of the best bit-actors, plays a Sector 7 agent, and nails his role. For that matter, Shia LaBoeuf brings some life to a role that could have otherwise been dry. Great casting brought a lot of light into the movie during the parts with no robots.
* * *
P.S.
I feel compelled to offer some criticisms, though, if you're familiar with Bay's previous work, I think you'll guess it off the bat.
It's a little too epic. I'll leave it at that. Think Pearl Harbour/Armageddon all over again, with robots.
There's the token love side-story, totally irrelevant and jarring. The tender moments hit you like a wet, dirty sock in the face. On a related note, there's 'hot' girls interspersed throughout the entire feature.
The music, especially the new Transformers theme, all retro-80'd up, is awful. The audience screamed for them to turn it off before the movie started rolling.
I'm not sure what kind of computer Michael Bay uses, but I'm going to assume it's a Fisher Price animal-sounds one. His idea of what 'hacking' is, is ridiculous. All of the scenes where they analyze the alien signal are bordering on lunacy. Real hacking is dull and tedious. Please leave it out of your movies in the future.
Perhaps the worst part is the Optimus Prime monologue. Oh God. Cheese dripping from the ceiling into your mouth.
*this image is from the IMDb page on Transformers
| 233 |
| Vote |
Add To: 
subscribe to this blog
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Where did you see the 20 minute preview?
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
John, I was really skeptical about the whole thing, but the 20 minutes I saw wasn't just mindless violence - there was a lot of plot building and human interest. We'll see if the entire thing holds together, but it looked good.
It wasn't the final version, either... they've still got color correction and special effects to fine tune.
Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
He makes seriously fun and entertaining films though. His use of the camera is awesome, I think. I keep thinking of the slo-mo steadicam shot in Bad Boys where Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are getting up off the road after having been through some serious crap - makes me smile everytime ;o) There's a glimpse in the trailer...
It ain't high art but geez it's great fun!
Comment by Filmpeeker
filmpeek
I'm glad it was good since I also didn't know what to think. It felt too plain. But I guess it isn't.
Good dialogue is really important and I'm happy it has it.
Thanks for the insight!
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Filmpeek, you'll love it!
Comment by charles
ZCars
Ponderous
I can't wait 'til this movie is released in July.
Charles.
Comment by JoshZ
JZ
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
AE, I loved the original movie... the soundtrack sounds terrible to me today, though. Leonard Nimoy did one of the voices, right?
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
I am so relieved to hear this movie didn't suck. We are really anticpating this movie........ All of our action figures are standing at attention...
Mis
Comment by Jonathon
Anthroblogogy
Comment by Nathan P. Mahney
NerdBlog
Comment by Ahmed
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
So if you get 40,000 hits and knock orble's servers offline you know who to hate.
Comment by Paul
Surreal Short Stories
Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
nathan, I had Gobots, too.
Ahmed, thanks man! We'll see if it catches on...
paul, awesome is awesome.
adrian, who says that isn't the subtext in the Transformers movie?
Comment by Anonymous
Really Long Link
Its about to be transformed in May into the mother of all sites and gaming and comps?
If you loved the 20 mins footage - your gonna love what comes next with the site and what you are going to be able to do.
Comment by Anonymous
transformers the movie . com.au
Comment by Sarah White
coolgirlsar to the rescue
One Too Many Chocolate Bars
Comment by Ahmed
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Not that it matters, I mean it's a movie about giant robots, it's not like they're gonna suddenly start having sex...
Comment by Sarah White
coolgirlsar to the rescue
One Too Many Chocolate Bars
I must say I'm intrigued to see this just to see what they have actually done with the Transformers themselves.
Comment by Ahmed
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Umm, is it just me ooor, is this post A LOT older than June 22nd?
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
Still, you've given me some faint hope. Maybe, just maybe, Bay can make a movie that I don't think completely sucks. It's hard to screw up giant robots smashing things....
Even so, this film is going to have to pull out all the stops to top the original Transformers: The Movie, the craziest 90-minute acid trip for kids ever committed to celluloid.
Comment by Nickoftime's Sanity Corner
great review! You're a lucky guy lol Now I'll have to break down and have peek...
Take care,
Nick
Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
I think Cib's added some comments at the end that are new... maybe that's why the bump?
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Transformers!
You'll love it, if you can get past the Bay-isms.
The first time I saw the robot transform, the audience erupted into cheers.
The first time Optimus appears on screen, cheers.
It was very rousing...
Comment by tashman
Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
It's precisely what I'm hanging out for, my dear boy!
Comment by Anonymous
With that said, the movie was just great. Everything I hoped for and more. There were a bunch of guys around me, late 20s, early 30s cheering like a bunch of toddlers. Brought back old memories, the '86 movie is the first movie I remember watching. Revamped for a younger more technologically savvy generation, but enough elements from the old stuff to keep everyone happy. I think it'll start over with the younger gen what G1 was for us.
Hope you guys love it as much as me, oh, and the cheesy parts will feel just like the old stuff. cheers
Comment by Anonymous
Certain elements are a must have in a modern box office movie that has any hope of succeeding and unfortunately, somewhat of a love story implemented throughout the movie is practically a must.
Also, my comments may be void and your views may have changed after seeing the full screening of the film. I've just come back from seeing it with 3 friends and I've taken a lot of the hype home with me. There was not one single thing i would change about this movie, it was (motion) picture perfect in every aspect in my opinion (which doesn't really matter anyway
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by crazymiks
Comment by hanxthre
It's an MTV genration movie eh? Which translates into it's a souless music video slash commercial with explosions...To hell with this movie and to hell with Micheal Bay for turning my childhood into 2 hrs of souless explosions...It's sad that you have to preface a movie review with "Don't expect too much" or "It's all about robots breaking stuff"...Obviously a movie can't be more than this...Keep on supporting anything Hollywood throws at you clones...As for me I refuse to give a penny to a hack of a director like Bay who clearly can give less than damn about the real Transformers fanbase...
Comment by whileyouweregrazing
Comment by Hollywood
Comment by charles
ZCars
Ponderous
And don't even get me started on Megan Fox
Charles.
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
You're a Fox fan, eh? Maybe you should have gone to the premiere!
She's a lot shorter in real life...
Comment by Anonymous
this film = stereotypes token nationalities buzzwords random fight scenes that made no sense (they were pretty, though, just absolutely nonsensical) plot holes extra cheese. all together - a waste of my time.
I'm no transformers fanboy, though i do remember the cartoons and loved them, as stupid as they were - but come on people, this is getting ridiculous. I should have listened to the South Park guys with their "pearl harbour sucks - and i miss you" song from Team America - why does Michael Bay get to keep making movies?
Comment by Aimzster
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
First Time Mum
Comment by charles
ZCars
Ponderous
I might watch this again on a cheap Tuesday with a couple of other friends that haven't seen it...
Oh, I didn't know she was going to be at the premiere - I know you went so picsorban Cibby!!!
Failing that, she'll be back over for the premiere of the sequel and third movie - I can so see this being a trilogy.
Charles.
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
charles, I didn't take any photos, sadly...
Comment by Marv
I'm from the first generation Transformers and when the first Transformers the Movie came out (1986?) I had that "WOW" feeling. Not with this one...I had the "What the heck was that?" feeling.
This new TF movie just had too much going on! Too much characters, and the fighting sequence between the robots were just too much...too fast! You can't even follow and appreciate the fighting sequence unless they do the slow motion which they did with some of the scenes. It was just overly done to the point were I was getting irritated with the fight/battle scenes....too darn fast.
There were parts where I thought the details were overly done. And then there were parts where it lost the details because it's just too damn fast...like a damn blur!
I'm just so disappointed.
Dear Michael Bay: K.I.S.S - Keep It Simple Stupid!
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Trina
Hiphop
Confessions of a Serial Dancer
Competitions
Clubbing
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Comment by South-africa
Comment by EEP
few things didnt make sense to me, they were monotoring ebay but everyone decided its easier to smash up crap than to bid on key item. Or bumblebee being implanted alongside the hooman but unable to do anything to get said item.....transform and write something geeze.
Funny thing is i think this movie perpetuates alot of the errors made by the US military - A10s shooting up the oasis village - DU shells? or the crew heading into a populated area - we all know how well US troops do in those. Or the dumping at the end? Heh - thats nothing new, and has hurt before.
So anyway much more solid than any preceding transformers thing ive seen, visually spectacular, even if it did seem autobots all went for wuusmobiles.
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by bumblebee
Comment by bumblebee
Comment by Anonymous
blah
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by abcd