Paramount's ridiculous profits mean more of the same from Hollywood studios
June 17th 2008 23:29
We never finished the conversation, as Bryn was left with an incredulous look on his face, as he visualized a rancid future when the cackling apes of Hollywood would put forward a remake of "Alien". No. That simply cannot happen.
Everyone knows why Hollywood is particularly execrable at the moment - they're cashing in, hard, on a trend. As long as audiences can't get enough of feeble remakes and hollow sequels, then we're in for a long ride.
I didn't like this year's "Ironman", which was better than most comic book adaptations, but still fell firmly in the camp of big-computer-bangs and cheaply written dialogue. Even worse was the franchise-shattering installment of Indiana Jones, with a title that foreshadows just how nonsensical things would get: "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull".
Who cares? I didn't like it, none of my fellow critics liked it, but people went to see it, and they forked over their wages to see it like a swarm of angry bees. Paramount reports that their international box office has passed $1 billion, with "Ironman" and Indy 4 leading the way.
""Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," the latest installment of adventure archeology from Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, grossed more than $350 million internationally in just two weeks, the company said. "
It would be unfair to ask the studios to make better films. While everyone would like to be the backers of indie hits like "Juno", it's unnaturally difficult to predict which movies will do well at the cinemas.
Perhaps the more dire consequence of this news is that the other studios are going to follow suit, if they want to catch up to Paramount. Every other comic book license will be raised from their earthly, previously-unfashionable grave to be hobbled into some sort of action movie, with enough winking references to make the viewer feel appreciated.
As the recent "Hulk" re-adaptation shows, if one film does poorly, just do it again, ignoring the failures, playing to the same audiences.
We're in for a long, long ride, it would seem. I thought I sensed audience ennui last year, when indie movies and film festivals were growing, and I was sure that the critical panning of the Fantastic Four movies would lead Hollywood to look somewhere else.
Come with me to the Sydney Film Festival. You might not like every movie you see there, but you can almost guarantee that every movie will be a unique vision, put on the screen from people that love the movies.
Here's the opening to "Silent Light", one of my favourites from the Sydney Film Festival. One continuous shot, no CGI, no artificial light - one hour of sunrise compressed into 4 minutes:
*this image is from my review of "Help Me Eros"
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Comment by KylieW
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I am so completely over remakes and sequels. But sadly we have nobody to blame except ourselves (by ourselves I mean the people forking out cash to see crap like The Fantastic Four).
I swear to god, I don't know what I'll do if they dare to remake Alien. Somebody in Hollywood is going to have to die a slow and painful death if that project ever gets the go-ahead!!!
Comment by Morgan Bell
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Comment by Cibbuano
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Morgan, the problem the studios have is exactly what you mentioned: there's a massive variety of movies out there, especially on DVD. Combined with home theatres, people are ever more reluctant to leave their homes to have a cinema experience. Therefore, studios need to put out the biggest spectacle, appealing to the biggest majority.
It's too bad... would a movie like "Annie Hall" draw big crowds today? Sometimes, I think yes, sometimes, no.
Comment by D. Armenta
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The trailer for Crystal Skull starts off with clips from the other movies, as if we need to be reminded what happened in them. After that we’re reintroduced to Indy by his fedora on the ground, and listen to numerous remarks made by Jones and some other guys about how they’re not as young as they used to be. Really? Because Harrison Ford looks like grilled chicken in this trailer. We got it. You know that we know that you’re old. Gotcha. A shot of a black bobbed Cate Blanchett shrieking in a Russian accent accompanies some standard Indiana Jones action, some running and the kid from Transformers. And that’s about it.
Quoted from Michael Gildea's "Kino Corner" feature of the May 2008 issue of "The Buffalo Beast"
Comment by Cibbuano
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If you've seen the new Indy movie, you can read this: Indiana Jones 4 cut down to its basic elements
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Da Concierge - that's Yin Shin, notable Taiwanese actress, who starred in "Help Me Eros" which I saw at the Sydney Film Festival. Great movie, I thought, thought the audience reaction was mixed.
Read the review!