The 100 Hottest Women... as voted by lesbians
June 7th 2007 18:20
There's a veritable army of terrible men's magazines, with Maxim and FHM leading the way, and they both like to publish a '100 Sexiest Women' list, in the hopes that you'll spend your hard-earned money on their dull, over-airbrushed photos of celebrities in near-nudity.
The Maxim list is so predictably awful, with Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba and Scarlett Johansson rounding out the top 3, and FHM isn't much better: Jessica Alba, Katherine McPhee and Scarlett Johansson.
Let me guess: we should buy these issues off the newsstand, open it up to #1 and fall to the ground twitching, a pool of semen staining our pants.
To those magazines, I say: get the hell outta here. Your lists are a pathetically transparent excuse for the equivalent of celebrity product placement. You've just taken whatever female stars are 'hot' at the moment, and put them at the top of the list, rounding out the bottom with various swimsuit and glamour models.
It's pathetic, and not indicative of any kind of sexuality at all.
Sigh... so what should we do? Us, the poor, the sad, the horny?
I'll tell you: let a battalion of lesbians pick the top 100 sexiest women. Here's the top 10.
1. Leisha Hailey
2. Angelina Jolie
3. Kate Winslet
4. Lena Headey
5. Sarah Shahi
6. Jennifer Beals
7. Tina Fey
8. Jordana Brewster
9. Salma Hayek
10. Natalie Portman
See? See? A fantastic list of beautiful women that have a certain amount of personality. Also, I've got a red-hot flame for Tina Fey. Whoa, those glasses? What's going on?
Women, in general, are much pickier abuot beauty, especially when it comes to women.
Men, we fall for tricks: push-up bras, fake eyelashes, fake contact lenses. We need a little quality control.
Other interesting picks from the list:
16. Jodie Foster - a delicious Clarice.
22. Evangeline Lilly - it's scary how fit she is, yet so attractive.
31. Helen Mirren - yeah, she's 60, but you know...
47. Meryl Streep - she's one of the best actresses in America, but she was also a knockout in the early days.
55. Queen Latifah - she's a big girl, but objectively speaking, she's really pretty.
79. Lindsay Lohan -waaaaay down on the list.
99. Carrie-Ann Moss - ooh, that nose.
Ah, women have the best taste in women...
(found on Fazed)
The Maxim list is so predictably awful, with Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba and Scarlett Johansson rounding out the top 3, and FHM isn't much better: Jessica Alba, Katherine McPhee and Scarlett Johansson.
Let me guess: we should buy these issues off the newsstand, open it up to #1 and fall to the ground twitching, a pool of semen staining our pants.
To those magazines, I say: get the hell outta here. Your lists are a pathetically transparent excuse for the equivalent of celebrity product placement. You've just taken whatever female stars are 'hot' at the moment, and put them at the top of the list, rounding out the bottom with various swimsuit and glamour models.
It's pathetic, and not indicative of any kind of sexuality at all.
Sigh... so what should we do? Us, the poor, the sad, the horny?
I'll tell you: let a battalion of lesbians pick the top 100 sexiest women. Here's the top 10.
1. Leisha Hailey
2. Angelina Jolie
3. Kate Winslet
4. Lena Headey
5. Sarah Shahi
6. Jennifer Beals
7. Tina Fey
8. Jordana Brewster
9. Salma Hayek
10. Natalie Portman
See? See? A fantastic list of beautiful women that have a certain amount of personality. Also, I've got a red-hot flame for Tina Fey. Whoa, those glasses? What's going on?
Women, in general, are much pickier abuot beauty, especially when it comes to women.
Men, we fall for tricks: push-up bras, fake eyelashes, fake contact lenses. We need a little quality control.
Other interesting picks from the list:
16. Jodie Foster - a delicious Clarice.
22. Evangeline Lilly - it's scary how fit she is, yet so attractive.
31. Helen Mirren - yeah, she's 60, but you know...
47. Meryl Streep - she's one of the best actresses in America, but she was also a knockout in the early days.
55. Queen Latifah - she's a big girl, but objectively speaking, she's really pretty.
79. Lindsay Lohan -waaaaay down on the list.
99. Carrie-Ann Moss - ooh, that nose.
Ah, women have the best taste in women...
(found on Fazed)
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Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
It's scary how chauvinistic that statement is.
....I'm disappointed Cibbuano. You're usually so in touch with your sensitive, femanine side....
Women in general, are much pickier. And bitchier. It's not that they "fall for the tricks"...it's that they look for "the faults".
Good list.
Not much different from Straight Woman's Top 100.
My bitch moment:
Keira Knightly?
How? Why?
Comment by Cibbuano
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yeah, that's probably true... there's faults a-plenty to pick at, I guess.
I'm with you on the Keira Knightly thing. I'm not a big fan, and I find her to be a bland, pouty actress.
Am I a chauvinist? I'm so down with the strong female role...
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
You sure you're not female sugar????
This is soooooo bitchy;
No! No faults.
Females tend to look for physical 'faults' in other females....if they're having a 'bad flair' day. And if they can't find a physical 'fault', they'll attack clothing style or mannerism or personality trait...hell...even her choice of....butter on croissants...!
It's negative projection, a temporary manifestation of a dip in self esteem and thankfully something that females grow out of when they become Women....which could really be any age...16 or 60....
Physically, she's not my 'type' (as in not my idea of a Beautiful Woman) but I do think Keira is attractive but as an actress who gets the plaudits and accolades she does?....hmmm...and no I'm not having a 'bad flair' day.
Sometimes it's got nothing to do with the psycho babble I wrote above and everything to do with... calling a spade a tool.
Comment by Cibbuano
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Ok - top 10 sexiest women? Alive, that is... if it gets historical, that's a different matter.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
....ahh but see...as far as I'm concerned, sexy women don't just exist in Celebrity World....sexy is an attitude and I know lots of sexy women, regardless of age or size or shape...
But okay....let's see...
Celebrity wise...who I 'classify' as a sexy* woman and in no particular order;
1. Laetitia Casta
2. Jodie Foster only in 'Inside Man'.
3. Rhona Mitra (was in 'Boston Legal' and was the 'body' of Lara Croft)
4. Rekha (Indian actress, featured in Mira Nair's 'Kama Sutra')
5. Geena Davis
6. Sherilyn Fenn (especially as Audrey Horne in 'Twin Peaks')
7. Not sure if this counts but there was an ad...and oh God I think it was a 'feminine product' ad!...this gorgeous female was walking on the beach near some guys playing soccer/football/whatever....a nd the ball gets kicked to her and she just kicks ass!...you know that fly-up-in-the-air move?
....hmmm...this is harder than I thought....
8. Catherine Zeta-Jones
9. Famke Jansson as 'Lady X'
10. Sophie Marceau
...oh....and the Hawaiian Woman in the opening credits of 'Hawaii 5-O'....
*sexy and beautiful are not neccessarily the same thing. I think Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman was just beautiful...but not sexy. However the DC WW as drawn by Alex Ross is hotter than hot
Comment by Cibbuano
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9. I think Jansson is sexy, too. Even on Nip/Tuck.
I'm a big fan of Monica Belluci - when she was Cleopatra, it was sublime.
How about Maggie Cheung in In the Mood for Love? Scorching!
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Love that Tina Fey made the cut...smart, funny and hot.
Comment by Cibbuano
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Comment by DuskDevi
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...AND she is as gorgeous...no more so...in real life!
I got to meet her on the set of 'Matrix Reloaded'.
I'll take CZJ off my list and put here there.
I loved Maggie Cheung in 'Hero'.
...I think I've seen 'In The Mood for Love'...has this got Tony Leung in it?
Rekha (my #4) was the Kama Sutra Teacher in that film.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Yes she is very sexy.
A cross between 2 Dianes - Lane and Keaton with a bit of Marlee Matlin(?)
Comment by Cibbuano
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But earlier, in Play it Again, Sam... she is stunning!
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
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I like this list so much better than the Maxim list.
Mis
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Stanley
Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
If I had to pick the most gorgeous woman ever to walk the Earth, alove or dead... it would probably be Audrey Hepburn.
A beautifull woman in every way imaginable, on and off the screen.
But hey, the lists aren't too bad!
I caught "Mean Girls" on telly a couple of nights ago, and Tina Fey was the person that jumped off the screen at me.
Yay for cute brainy chicks!
How's that on the chauvinist meter, Dusk?
Comment by Trina
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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carmen electra? hahaha well at least pamela anderson wasnt on there
sexy women on film
1. holly hunter
2. chloe sevigny
3. gina gershon
4. rachael mcadams
5. maggie gyllanhaal
5. diane lane
6. angelina jolie
7. lucy liu
8. frances o'connor
9. katherine zeta jones
10. jennifer love hewitt
actually when you put them in a group like that its a terrifying mental image, could you imagine them as our leaders, theyre some tough maneaters!
Comment by Cibbuano
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trina, I don't know anything about that show - except that Pam Grier is on it!
yoda, I'll have to watch Mean Girls one day. I never had any desire to see it, but then I learned that Fey wrote the script...
stan, well said.
mis, it's MUCH better than the Maxim list. I don't know what's wrong with Maxim... they're so mainstream that they're afraid of rocking the boat even a little...
Comment by Anonymous
Why the hell is there a lack of musicians here? Hayley Williams? Carah Faye Charnow?
Love Jennifer Love's smile she should be further up. Kate beckinsale nice nice! Somethin bout her in underworld....Dunno bout holly hunter but I'd certainly have her on-screen daughter (from thirteen) Evan rachel woods.
All I can say is thank god the predicatable ones arent here! Keira Knightly....egh what is the attraction? Jessica Alba....only in dark angel.
Whats the deal with Lohan? Fair enuff she's an arse most of the time, but if push came to shove... I wouldnt kick that outta bed!
Natalie Portman, ahhh remember when i was younger at star wars wonderin why I was watchin her more than hayden christensen. She's well up there.
Thats about it im tired and couldnt be arsed lookin thru my dvds....oh closing notes,...
eliza dushku & katherine moennig (i'd have her moennig all rite)
bedtime x
Comment by Anonymous
1. Eliza Dushku
2. Oliva Wilde
3. Megan Park
4. Angelina Jolie
5. Chelsea Handler
6. Taylor Swift
7. Blake Lively**
8. Kate Hudson
9. Megan Fox
10. Kelly Clarkson
I don't think anyone could disagree
Comment by Anonymous
1. Eliza Dushku
2. Oliva Wilde
3. Megan Park
4. Angelina Jolie
5. Chelsea Handler
6. Taylor Swift
7. Blake Lively**
8. Kate Hudson
9. Megan Fox
10. Kelly Clarkson
I don't think anyone could disagree