Matt Shea
RubySoho
Morgan Bell
Cibbuano
David O'Connell
Mountain Fog
Going to The Movies by Yourself
August 3rd 2009 09:09
I am an independent self-sufficient sort of person. However, when it comes to going to the movies I need someone to go with. I will ring around all my friends asking if anyone wants to go. More often than not if I cant find a companion I just won't go. I will wait for it to come out on DVD. Apparently I can go to the video shop by myself, I just can't go to the movies.
Well I can sometimes. I went to the movies by myself last night. I felt a bit weird but I went anyway. Really the uncomfortable part of the experience is limited to purchasing the ticket, having the ticket checked, finding my seat, and sitting though the advertising until they dim the lights.
Right now I'm probably sounding more neurotic than Woody Allen, Jerry Seinfeld and Ally McBeal combined. But I encounter this problem regularly as I love going to the movies more than any of my friends. I would go several times a week and I would see anything and everything if given the chance.
There is just some stigma about going to the movies by yourself. I can't quite put my finger on it.
Maybe it is the stereotype of the dirty old man in the trenchcoat and sunglasses going alone to see "blue movies" at the inner-city smut cinema. We can thank Scorsese's Taxi Driver for that image. Am I that cliche? Smoking a cigar in the back row, hoping not to be seen ... that's what it feels like.
To do something, that is usually so social, by yourself brings all these negative connotations. Like shame and guilt. Like you are doing something wrong that you are trying to hide.
Is that irrational?
I'm not going to the seedy XXX Girls R-Rated movie dive. I'm going to the family cineplex. Going to the suburban Greater Union or Hoyts to watch Tom Hanks destroy The Vatican library, or Johnny Depp pulling off a daring prison escape. Where's the shame in that?
I guess it could just be the feeling that comes with any nigel-no-friends activity. A table for one at a fancy restaurant, or drinking at a bar alone. You might get that look of pity. You might need to pretend you are waiting for someone to avoid the look of pity. You might feel paranoid that you look like a drug dealer or prostitute if you loiter around somewhere unaccompanied long enough.
A companion for the movies is fairly redundant when you really think about it. Most people don't talk during the movie. You are basically agreeing to go to the same place and sit in the dark for 90 mins completely unconnected for the duration. You might share the drive together. But if not, the only social aspect is the rigmarole of acquiring tickets and queuing etc. ... 10 - 20 mins tops!
So why do I feel the urge to tell the candy-bar girl "oh my friends are meeting me in there"?
I am not Travis Bickle at the Show & Tell!
Well I can sometimes. I went to the movies by myself last night. I felt a bit weird but I went anyway. Really the uncomfortable part of the experience is limited to purchasing the ticket, having the ticket checked, finding my seat, and sitting though the advertising until they dim the lights.
Right now I'm probably sounding more neurotic than Woody Allen, Jerry Seinfeld and Ally McBeal combined. But I encounter this problem regularly as I love going to the movies more than any of my friends. I would go several times a week and I would see anything and everything if given the chance.
There is just some stigma about going to the movies by yourself. I can't quite put my finger on it.
Maybe it is the stereotype of the dirty old man in the trenchcoat and sunglasses going alone to see "blue movies" at the inner-city smut cinema. We can thank Scorsese's Taxi Driver for that image. Am I that cliche? Smoking a cigar in the back row, hoping not to be seen ... that's what it feels like.
To do something, that is usually so social, by yourself brings all these negative connotations. Like shame and guilt. Like you are doing something wrong that you are trying to hide.
Is that irrational?
I'm not going to the seedy XXX Girls R-Rated movie dive. I'm going to the family cineplex. Going to the suburban Greater Union or Hoyts to watch Tom Hanks destroy The Vatican library, or Johnny Depp pulling off a daring prison escape. Where's the shame in that?
I guess it could just be the feeling that comes with any nigel-no-friends activity. A table for one at a fancy restaurant, or drinking at a bar alone. You might get that look of pity. You might need to pretend you are waiting for someone to avoid the look of pity. You might feel paranoid that you look like a drug dealer or prostitute if you loiter around somewhere unaccompanied long enough.
A companion for the movies is fairly redundant when you really think about it. Most people don't talk during the movie. You are basically agreeing to go to the same place and sit in the dark for 90 mins completely unconnected for the duration. You might share the drive together. But if not, the only social aspect is the rigmarole of acquiring tickets and queuing etc. ... 10 - 20 mins tops!
So why do I feel the urge to tell the candy-bar girl "oh my friends are meeting me in there"?
I am not Travis Bickle at the Show & Tell!
| 173 |
| Vote |
Add To: 
subscribe to this blog
Comment by Jason King
Sydney Table
Salty Popcorn
Total Randomness
When you walk in you could also pretend you are a film reviewer/critic and that you are important. But wait, you ARE a film reviewer/ critic so feel important.
You are meant to be there!!
I am half reassuring myself as well. I watch 90% of all films by myself, I then don't have to tell them to shut up or to explain what is happening
Comment by Matt Shea
20/20 Filmsight
I must admit that I regularly go to films on my own, even though I prefer to bail up a buddy, just to talk about how s**t it was afterwards (or during, even).
It can feel strange, but there always seems to be another solo cowboy in the theatre, and I console myself with the fact that they look even more pathetic than I do - not that I can actually see them, of course.
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
oh great advice!
i should carry a clipboard and act all important . . . as important as i really am! (i should employ you as my personal pep-taker haha)
im glad to know im not the only person seeing flicks by myself
Comment by Janet Collins
Acceptable Etiquette
The Social Critic
Janet Collins Blog
I also have to admit that I am quite good at going to the movies by myself. I always have been but I got more into the habit after my friends who I did often go to the movies with started having kids.
After that I preferred to catch up with them over dinner because I saw them a lot less and I wanted to catch up with what they were doing. And from experience, if I really want to see something often the organisation of getting together falls apart and the movie is either not showing any more or on at a really inconvenient time.
I really have never had a problem going to the movies on my own but if one of my friends wants to really see something too I really enjoy watching a movie with them.
To me, it is one of the easiest things to do on your own.
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
oh good another brother in arms in the "loner moviegoer" gang
ive gotta get over my apprehension, if all the cool kids are doing it then i can do it too . . . positive thinking
i love having a friend there for the really bad movies, i remember talking all the way through Australia because my friend and i were jaw-dropped at how shoddily put together it was
i do note you user the word "pathetic" though, so i take it the feeling has washed over you at one time or another
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
i first started doing it when i was at uni, the student union ran a free theatrette which i would visit in long breaks between lectures
then i progressed to the Hoyts Broadway cinema when part two of Star Wars came out (Episode II: Attack of the Clones, 2002) . . . i had a three hour break and a crush on Hayden Christensen . . . i needed to score
some people think the movies are really expensive but i think its relatively cheap entertainment (compared to drinking or eating out), plus im a nightowl so i dont mind catching a 9:30pm session
i wish i could be more sensible like you are just go to the movies and not slink around like a pimp or a pusher
Comment by Janet Collins
Acceptable Etiquette
The Social Critic
Janet Collins Blog
Comment by Journeywoman
Great Hair Style Tips
The Mama Sutra
I Dream of Hollywood
Fashion Peach
People who are there in couples and groups will be too focused on each other, and the movie, to think about a single person sitting nearby. As for feeling like a pusher - no-one I know does that at cinemas - the beach carparks are where it's at
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
maybe i need to get in with the staff of the local cinema so i can feel at home
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
haha
see i would feel perfectly comfortable roaming around a beach carpark or a train station by myself in the middle of the night
maybe my neurosis stems from the fact that i always notice other people when they are alone, and i think awww
i think you are right about timing being everything, the late night Sunday session was not as intimidating as i expected it to be
thanks for the comment
Comment by Cinema Rat
Rat Chat
Rom-coms are a couples affair and straight out comedies are best enjoyed with your mates.
Like I said it depends on the flick but I'd see anything on my own regardless.
-CR.
www.cinemarat.com
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
sometimes if im out shopping and i know i have to wait for a friend to finish work or something i will duck in to see a movie . . . but i can count the amount of times that has ever happened on one hand
i think i saw 27 Dresses by myself lol
there were not many people lining up to see that one
Comment by Dirty Dancin David
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
i hope your animal magnetism didnt cause the candy bar chick to get in trouble with her boss
Comment by RubySoho
Music Zone
Thought Zone
and don't get me started on people who eat popcorn at the movies...
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
yeah i like sitting on the side so noone will sit near me, although i find the difference between sitting up the back or in the middle is much of a muchness, the cinemas arent that big and the screens are frikken huge! haha
i like having a frozen coke, but i am careful not to slurp it
Comment by RubySoho
Music Zone
Thought Zone
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Pop Rock Factory
I never seem to learn though - with thoughts of escapism running through my head - I journeyed only the other day - having a couple of hours to kill - only to leave the cinema feeling a little hollow.
Sad part is that I returned acompanied by my wife not two days later and thoroughly enjoyed the experience.
We're social creatures (or most of us anyway) and when it comes to the big screen (going to the drive in by yourself is even creepier) it's always nice to have that companionship - if for no other reason to have a coffee and chat afterwards.
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
ah i see, its some kind of eyeball exercise
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
aww what a cute story!
i guess thats the benefits of having a spouse, a guarenteed movie date
Comment by Jugal
The last movie I saw by myself was a "date" movie and in a crowd filled with couples and groups, I was actually THE only single person (guy/girl). I really am a big fan of the writer who wrote the movie and had to go see it. So I got myself the biggest tub of popcorn and the biggest serving of pepsi they had!
I've never ever seen a girl go to a movie by herself.
Comment by Amy Wang
Films, Films And More FIlms
But hey, I totally go to Broadway Hoyts too! Perhaps I'll see you there on day
p.s. All I know is, when I stumble on some money in the future, the first foolish/indulging thing I will by for myself will be a private movie theatre!
Comment by Marc P
Comment by Kristin Wolgemuth
Poetry Lighthouse
Time to Get Up Club
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Justicia
A Word From The Wise
Celebwise
I may just go alone, I refuse to miss out and have to see it on the small screen on DVD. Your post has me thinking that I can do it. Maybe if I can go in after the previews have started, it won't be as embarrassing as being a nigel before the lights have dimmed!
Comment by Jeff Musall
Comment by marilyn june melville