On being a useless film critic
April 5th 2007 00:42
An interesting article in Variety Magazine seems to indicate the same of big name critics. It seems that most of the biggest moneymakers at the box office have all been denounced and decried at length by reviewers.
The numbers speak for themselves:
Ghostrider: 27% on Rottentomatoes, said to be "A sour mix of glum histrionics amidst jokey puns and hammy dialogue"
It's made $156 million worldwide.
Wild Hogs: 17% on Rottentomatoes, called "A dreadful combination of fish-out-of-water jokes and lazy stereotypes."
It's cashed in $135 million worldwide.
Norbit is at 9% on Rottentomatoes, which is pretty difficult to do, really. It's best summed up by Film Freak Central:
It's a thoughtless, cancerous, viral, irresponsible pollution whose existence speaks ill of the society that produced it and of any society that would endorse or defend it.
After Norbit came out, I read in the Sydney Morning Herald that it got 1 star from the Sydney reviewer and was basically warning people not to see it. On the same page, the box office numbers for Australia: Norbit was on top. By a long shot.
These are movies that I don't even bother mentioning on this site, because I feel that it's well-understood that these are obviously terrible movies, pandering to the lowest common denominator. Whatever talent associated with these movies is watered down intentionally by the studios to make sure that a ferociously bland movie, with predictable thrills, scares and laughs ensues.
Meanwhile, good movies that have great production values and a clever, satirical script, like Hot Fuzz, get 83% at Rottentomatoes, favourable quotes all around but have a limited release and struggle to top their budgets.
What it comes down to, apparently, is that the society described in Idiocracy, Mike Judge's yanked movie about a future where idiots have inherited the Earth, seems well on its way to fruition.
The studios understand this - almost too well. Woody Allen has been slowly nudged out of New York, chased by studios to Europe, where his movies do much better than in the States. In America, massive cinemas sell garbage bags full of popcorn and barrels of watered-down cola at sky-high prices, while packing in the cattle into stadium seating to see whatever moronic, trend-following movie can pay the bills.
What does this mean? It suggests that the role of the film critic is anachronistic... by watching a lot of films, critics naturally compare everything they see to the really good movies, the great classics, and the rarely-seen gems. What the general public needs is a critic with no film knowledge at all, with no passion for cinema, no appreciation of a great script - someone that finds every toilet humour joke knee-slappingly good, every car chase thrilling, every CGI scene to be mesmerizing. Have mercy on our souls.
Additional Reading: JohnDoe has already exploded about the movie piracy debacle, and how it detracts from his cinema experience, and infuriates consumers that buy DVDs.
* the comic is from a cartoonist from my hometown in Canada - the cartoon is the brilliant Bob the Angry Flower. The image from Norbit is taken from the IMDb movie page on Norbit.
| 118 |
| Vote |
Subscribe to this blog
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Comment by Cibbuano
20/20 Filmsight
Science News
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Comment by Ahmed
techy.Bytes
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Qwerk
Cinema Three
...
Back... Well wasn't that a masterpiece(of shit)?
You're going through the same crap videogames do, well not really.. thats kind of interesting actually, top selling games also happen to be the top reviewed 99% of the time, it is so much like that, that people claim publishers pay off reviewers to generate hype, hence the sails.
After playing about 4 hours of Halo 2 I can safely say that myth is bullshit, woo!
If I recall norbit scored something like 7/10 from another 'critic' who says that there should be an academy award for best fat suit awarded to the fat suit...
Comment by Filmpeeker
Film Peek
Gizmo Peek
Film Peek Forum
You got a lot of points, but I have to blame the critics too. It seems to me that after a certain period of time, when they are popular and respected, they start to do whatever will make a buzz around them rather than the truth.
They think of themselves as professional god-critics and write as if other professional god-critics are reading. I mean c'mon, the critique is for the wider audience, the simple people, the ones who go out to the cinema once a month in order to enjoy a different evening. They want a laugh or excitement, not something deep, smart or intelligent.
Idiocracy had a lot of truths in it and I think we're heading that way too, but as long as there's no way to change it we'll just have to write to a "dumber" audience.
I don't know if I make myself clear, but the point is to write for the majority. I try to do that, judging entertainment value and film value as to different things.
Good thing peeps here at Orble have a good taste.
Have a good one Cib,
filmpeeker
Comment by Mo Diggs
Comment by Cibbuano
20/20 Filmsight
Science News
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Ahmed, I actually own a copy of Gigli - I wanted to see how bad it was, but I can't bring myself to watch it.
Filmpeeker, you make an interesting point, but my answer is that it depends on what kind of film critic you want to be. If you want to be widely read and accepted, you can give people what they want... and most of the newspaper critics have to deliver these kinds of reviews.
But critics like Roger Ebert, who I quite admire, have been through enough of the movie industry to measure everything by the great films. 40 years, he's been writing!
Mo, watch them and tell us all about it!
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Frightening that an audience can be entertained without the mind being engaged...but its the same with music and all art, it seems that the less original and easier to undertsand it is, the more popular...no one is looking to expand their understanding of lives experiences through art, just the opposite....and now movies are just TV on a big screen, instead of a cinematic nirvana..
Comment by Stanley
i've always hated critics who urge people to not go and see something because as a film freak i find something redeeming in every film i've seen because hey, we may complain but still wasting precious resources watching the movie in question whether it is time, money or loss of braincells.
Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
Agreed, but sometimes people are looking for some simple entertainment, not to be challenged for two hours. Nothing wrong with that.
But bad critics don't help. I once read a review for "Miami Vice" (the Michael Mann remake) that touted Colin Farrell's performance as a masterpiece. Oh dear Lord, I hope they paid him well for that. And I hope he can live with himself.
You can't blame people for chasing cheques, and it's also why I reserve judgement until I SEE the film myself, usually based on a trailer or who's involved in the production. Especially if it's someone I know or have a connection with.
Comment by Mike Crowl
Webitz
Work Report
There have always been crap movies; we have a tv channel here that apparently can't afford to show anything else, and some of the most appalling stuff turns up on it. But if they weren't being shown there to largely non-existent audiences, no one would know they existed.
Equally, B movies of the past were a regular feature of the movie industry; watching some of them today you wonder how they got made. But the studios had to keep on churning stuff out because they had lots of actors and writers and directors on contracts, so they did. No doubt the studios covered the cost of making them well and truly - and it gave them the chance to put that money into making decent movies.
Comment by Ahmed
techy.Bytes
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Qwerk
Cinema Three
I don't care if half the jokes in Bean 2 are recycled from over a decade ago, I was a tiny tot back then so I wouldn't really remember, is it funny? Yes? Good.
Comment by Cibbuano
20/20 Filmsight
Science News
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
For example, if you like satire, French films, the female form and sex, my reviews are a good choice.
Comment by Ahmed
techy.Bytes
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Qwerk
Cinema Three
Comment by Cibbuano
20/20 Filmsight
Science News
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Comment by Ahmed
techy.Bytes
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Qwerk
Cinema Three
I rest my case
Comment by Mike Crowl
Webitz
Work Report