"The baddies are all white and called Stormtroopers and led by a black stormtrooper called Darth Vader. The baddies storm (that's all they can do - that and troop) on to the white circular ship. It's time for Luke to be heroic and say to his collection of really weird mates: "May the force be with you." It works: the baddies all end up getting killed, whereas nobody on the goodies' side worth caring about dies."

"My worst mistake, though, was Obi-Wan Kenobi. There was I, imagining this flying ninja thing with long legs and an alien's head. Turns out it's Alec Guinness in my mum's dressing gown! Who knew?"