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Reviews, previews and chuckling and snorting...
Natalie Portman Norah Jones stuffed bra My Blueberry Nights
I've been looking forward to "My Blueberry Nights" ever since I heard of its conception... it's the first English film by notable Hong Kong director, Wong Kar Wai, the creator of one of my all-time favourites, "In The Mood For Love".

It stars Norah Jones and Jude Law, but Natalie Portman and Rachel Weisz come into the picture.

I'm not a big Natalie Portman fan, finding her acceptably cute, but not sexy... there are Australian guys here in Sydney that would rip out my tendons and whip me with them, just for uttering such travesties. Let's keep this on the down low, then, shall we?

Well, other people are quite enamored with Ms. Portman, as odd as that may seem, and they'll probably see Blueberry Nights just to check her out.

I guess Wai didn't think she 'filled out' the role enough, so he got her to dye her hair blonde and then stuff her bra. With what, there's no confirmation. I'm guessing Turkish Delight or handfuls of grass, but that's just a scientific guess.

Here's a whole gallery of photos from the movie, some of them featuring Portman's false advertising breasts.



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Maiko Haaaan!!! geisha drinking game
The opening film of the 11th Japanese Film Festival here in Sydney was Maiko Haaaan!!!, a film so rabidly anticipated that the second showing was jammed pack with J-fans.

TV comedian Sadawo Abe helms this manic project as a geisha-obsessed fanboy who'll go to no ends to achieve his goal of playing strip baseball with a room full of geishas.

Written by acclaimed screenwriter Kankuro Kudo, who wrote Go, Ping Pong and Miike's Zebraman, it's total mayhem and lunacy for 2 hours, with Abe screaming and prancing his way through fast-cuts and splashy colours. Is this Japanese comedy? All around me, Japanese people were laughing at things that I didn't get, leading me to suspect that there's a lot of cultural subtlety in the picture.

Here's the nonsensical Japanese trailer:



Not that Maiko Haaaan!!! isn't enjoyable - it's a fantastic production, with high-quality special effects and superb scenes. The geisha houses are beautiful, with minimal decoration, but well-lit, like the interior of a dollhouse.

And the dolls are the geishas, who are so elegantly depicted here that Maiko Haaaan!!! beats the pants off of Memoirs of a Geisha. The traditional garb of a geisha is a little bewildering, with the painted white face and the severe makeup, but such colours, such poise... Abe's character desires to become a geisha regular, but I think he's collecting them in his experience, forming a shelf of geisha-dolls in his memory.

Better than Memoirs, too, Maiko Haaaan!!! gives us a better understanding of Japanese culture, though I'm not sure how much geishas have to do with modern Japanese living. Still, the film is packed with traditional song and dance, making the film a comedy on one obvious level, but a serious study of historical arts beneath the surface.

It's different from anything you've ever seen, and I came away from the movie quite entertained. It's best watched with a crowd of loud, raucous people - mainly because Maiko Haaaan!!! is loud and raucous itself. With plenty of colour, style and wit, coupled with a fantastic big band soundtrack that punctuates every explosion with an exclaimation mark, Maiko Haaaan!!! is a simultaneous shot to the stomach and kiss on the cheek.


I say: A dizzying look at Japanese culture through fast-paced slapstick comedy. A movie to watch loud, with lots of friends, on a big screen, with quickly-imbibed spirits and pizza.

Kou Shibasaki singer
See it for: Japanese singer Kou Shibasaki plays the main female lead... she's done up to be quite dumpy at the beginning of the movie, but, naturally, she turns into a real swan. With large, soft eyes that are slightly misplaced, she worms her way into the picture with super-cuteness.

Do you think she's cute? Sweet? Sure, you do. Did you know she was also the cold-hearted Mitsuko in Battle Royale? You know which one. Not so cute, now, eh?

Also, Maiko Haaaan!!! excels at making Japan look fun. The food, the drinks, the strip baseball... it all looks like a righteously good time! Let's go!
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Summer Days With Coo

December 9th 2007 18:52
Summer Days with Coo kappa on bicycle

The final movie on closing night of the Japanese Film Festival was a family-oriented animated feature, called Summer Days With Coo.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Bizan @ the Japanese Film Festival

December 5th 2007 22:04
Bizan Matsushima Nanako in a green kimono

Last night's showcase film at the 11th Japanese Film Festival here in Sydney was a vibrant, exuberant story of a mother with a terminal illness and her reconciliation with her daughter.

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Black Cat Mansion Ghost Cat
Last night was J-Horror night at the 11th Japanese Film Festival in Sydney - the treat of the night was The Mansion of the Ghost Cat (aka Black Cat Mansion or Borei kaibyo yashiki), a classic horror film by Nobuo Nakagawa, filmed in 1958.

I think the Japanese have cornered the market on horror films, mastering the art of discomfort and tension... modern J-Horror films have nailed the idea of anticipation and dread, combining sparse special effects with fascinating storytelling


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The Japanese Film Festival in Sydney

December 3rd 2007 00:12
Japanese Film Festival
It's their 10th year bringing Japanese cinema to the sandy Australian shores, and this year, I'll be attending the J-Horror nights this week.

Japanese cinema has been hugely influential in the last half-century of film, but the effect has reached fever pitch in the last decade, with J-Horror, Anime and Yakuza movies all gaining instant cult status in Western cinemas


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Drunken Master

November 27th 2007 22:31
Drunken Master DVD cover movie poster
The original Drunken Master is heralded as one of the best Hong Kong kung fu movies ever made... it's the movie that gave Jackie Chan his big break and crafted his trademark kung fu-comedy style.

The second Drunken Master, made in the 90s, is a fine production, with quality and style. Highly entertaining and well-worth a watch


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The Cave of the Yellow Dog

September 27th 2007 23:25

What a month! I went from total ignorance about Mongolian films to having watched three: Mongolian Ping Pong, The Story of the Weeping Camel, and now The Cave of the Yellow Dog.

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Blind Shaft

September 23rd 2007 22:55
Blind Shaft
Blind Shaft is the debut feature film from Li Yang, a Chinese filmmaker who lived abroad in Germany for years, studying and working in the film industry. His return to China led him to make this film, about the harsh conditions of the illegal coal mines in China.

The film was banned in China, for unspecific reasons... the subject of the film is a touchy one in China, where poor safety practises in the coal mines have ensured that China's mines are the deadliest in the world
[ Click here to read more ]
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Mongolian Ping Pong

September 19th 2007 22:05
Mongolian Ping Pong standing by a horse in the grasslands
I watched The Story of the Weeping Camel last month, which was the first Mongolian film that I've seen... it was lazily hypnotic, with the simple lines of the Mongolian landscape casting the viewers into a dreamlike state of thoughts and murmurs.

My second Mongolian film came shortly after; last night, I watched Mongolian Ping Pong, a 2005 movie from Chinese director Hao Ning. Following in the styles of the Sixth Generation of Chinese directors, he's assembled a beautiful story with unprofessional actors, set in front of the gorgeous grasslands of Mongolia


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The Banquet (Ye Yan)

September 9th 2007 23:23
The Banquet Zhou Xun
This 2006 movie was a contender for the Best Foreign Movie Oscar prize, directed by Feng Xiaogang, starring Zhang Ziyi and Ge You.

The Banquet is a lavish historical epic, depicting the court of intrigue and deception of the Tang Dynasty in ancient China. Stunning sets, beautiful costumes, truly elegant setpieces, all choreographed to give the audience a sense of how opulent the dynasty was


[ Click here to read more ]
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Jackie Chan's 10 Greatest Injuries

September 3rd 2007 22:39
Most of us watched Rumble in the Bronx and thought, God DAMN, who is that guy and why is he so awesome?

Then we saw Rush Hour and thought, A-ha-ha, a Chinese guy with a fast-talking black guy! What better unlikely partners


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Lust Caution Ang Lee Se Jie
Man, I haven't been this eager for a film since Hot Fuzz.

I'm a big fan of Chinese cinema, though I'm not terribly well-experienced with it, and though Ang Lee's last few movies have been pandering to Oscar audiences, his latest looks like a ferocious melange of art and passion


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The Story of the Weeping Camel

August 21st 2007 23:21
Story of the Weeping Camel Mongolian family

Yesterday, I criticized Guardian film critic, Ron Bergan, for being too pretentious about the 'art of cinema'... though reading his posts is similar to being reprimanded by your father for throwing dirt in the street, he does have a wide knowledge of film, and his recommendations are probably worth watching.

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