CibbuanoThe Vampire Who Admires Me
May 19th 2009 00:42
The mall was called 'Victory Square' and had, hidden in its nooks, all kinds of bizarre, fascinating elements. I might despise malls in Australia, but in China, there's hardly any other place that's more representative of the pulse of the place. People moving like blood corpuscles, pumped out through loud arteries and into shady veins.
I found myself at a DVD stand and was immediately transfixed by the cover of an erotic movie, which I reviewed almost immediately ("Forbidden Legend: Sex & Chopsticks"), and the seller noticed my bulging eyes.
"I'll take this," I said confidently.
He laughed and picked up another DVD, with a cover full of bikini-clad Chinese girls and a silly looking vampire.
"I'll take that, too!"
It's been over six months, but I've finally gotten around to watching "The Vampire Who Admires Me", a silly vampire comedy from Hong Kong that tries to pour as many heaving Asian bosoms into bikinis as possible.
I intended to love this film for the parade of delectable women, but, truthfully, the appeal escaped me. The story seems packaged into a ceral box prize: a group of models are sent to a remote island to do a photoshoot at the agency owner's inherited estate.
Luckily for everyone, his great-grandfather was cursed as a vampire, sealed into a tomb, which would only open if the grave was desecrated. You won't believe this - but the grave is indeed desecrated, and vampires start popping up all over the place.
Aieee! shriek the models as they are chased by the vampires.
"The Vampire Who Admires Me" was written and produced by Wong Jing, who is well known for producing, directing or writing a massive number of popular Chinese films, including the highly-esteemed (in my eyes) Sex & Zen series and the Young & Dangerous series.
Well, here, Wong Jing tries to give us funny vampires, which doesn't work out too well - the horror/comedy genre needs to be as unpredictable as possible to get off the ground, without resorting to toilet humour or silly slapstick. This movie includes both toilet humour AND silly slapstick, which should be a warning to avoid it.
How did I enjoy this? The film manages to be surprisingly amusing, and even brings a creepy atmosphere to a few scenes. Sure, the whole thing dissolves into nonsense, but the film exceeds expectations, especially for a film that, ostentiably, attempts to cast a few popular models and have them prance around.
Prance! Dance, I say! Give me that pouty look! Now look cute! Chinese movies that go for sex appeal, without diving into filth, seem to land on this mediocre plateau, where the audience is bored by the bikinis and would rather get back to the local island cops, bumbling around, being chased by vampires.
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I say: Worth a look if you like silly Chinese comedies with girls in bikinis.
See it for: By far, the most appealing pulchritude in the film is from Jo Koo, an underappreciated actress who plays the head police officer. She spends most of her time barking orders in a tight olive top, with a body that makes the models look like silly girls. Whew, I'd let her interrogate me.
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