Another film and another variation on the romcom formula. Honestly, I’ve come to sit through the trailers for these flicks counting down the seconds to the shit-eating ‘but’.

In the latest cab off the rank it’s the tyranny of distance, as Drew Barrymore’s Erin and Justin Long’s Garrett attempt to hold down a trans-American relationship. If that sounds about as enjoyable as drinking drain cleaner I couldn’t blame you, but Going the Distance actually has plenty going for it: strong performances, a couple you can root for and some genuinely funny moments.

At the start of the pic, hip-to-the-scene New York record exec Garrett is making that most basic of schoolboy errors: not giving his girlfriend a birthday present – a brief argument later and they’ve broken up. At his commiserative drinks, the ambivalent Garrett manages to interrupt the Centipede game of newspaper intern Erin, and nary pitcher of beer later they’re back at his place, punching cones and making moans.

This opening gambit from the filmmakers sets us up for the duality that is Going the Distance. For every single thing this film does that’s smart and true there’s a moment that’s hopelessly cheap, grafted on by a careless and overambitious gag guy.

So you have the realistically drawn character of Erin cancelled out by the romcom cliché of the leading man’s best mates who can’t help but not help, or the truths of long-distance communication buggered by a set of semen jokes. Bongs? On a first date?! At least roll that fucker and pretend your characters are somewhat civilised.

As the film finalises its setup the weirdness becomes almost too distracting. Erin is leaving for the east coast in six weeks, so the two decide to keep things noncommittal. But logic is of course no match for the machinations of love, and what started as a summer fling soon turns into expensive plane flights and flaccid phone sex. At least Garrett has his mates’ dick jokes to see him through.

Thankfully, Going the Distance slowly arm-wrestles its deficiencies into submission. As the film finally settles into a second act rhythm, screenwriter Geoff LaTulippe begins to nail home his major characters, as well as flesh out a nice subtext on the seemingly broken industries of old media and record producing, so the weird behaviour and comic diversions don’t seem so jarring. For her part, first-time feature director Nanette Burstein gives the film lashings of naturalism and handles well an excellent, experienced cast.

It’s this killer cast that probably gets the film over the line. Barrymore has to be one of the best female leads in the business, her presence adding a genuine touch of class to Going the Distance. Long too is good value, his special gift for comic timing proving handy when selling the flick’s more retarded lines. In the major supporting role of Erin’s straight-laced but caring sister, Christina Applegate regularly comes close to stealing the entire film.

Eventually, Going the Distance succeeds despite its faults. The tonal inconsistencies are unfortunate and hint at a bunch of filmmakers lacking conviction in their own material. But this is a film with a couple you can actually root for as well as a collection of quality moments, some touching and some hilarious. Gents, this is one romantic comedy that you shouldn’t be ashamed to tag along to.


I say: If only everything about this film was as solid as the truth at its core, we’d have a bona fide romcom classic. As it is, this is reasonably enjoyable stuff.

See it for: Its female performers. Barrymore and Applegate are both excellent.

First, a disclaimer: I know these gents. In my other guise as a music writer, Zilla Rocca and Douglas Martin are two dudes I tend to discuss tunes with. Still, each time I tell myself that another write-up on 5 O’Clock Shadowboxers would amount to another conflict of interest, they come out and release something stunning – something that I’m compelled to form a few thoughts about. Having said all that, their rap redux of 12 Angry Men took a while to grow on me. I'm a fan of the film and at first the disconnect was a bit much, but give this time to grow and it pays back handsomely. It helps that No Resolution 2 is one of the classier pieces of hip hop to be released this year, but Curly Castro’s concept for the video – cutting the motion picture down to five minutes and assigning each rapper a character – is what really seals the deal. As edited by Lyle Horowitz of 5846 Films, the final product comes off like a sucker-punching preview for the full length feature.

When films like House of 1000 Dolls come up for review you tend to jump at the opportunity to catch some deep trash, as Bryn over at Horrorphile would term it. Vincent Price? 60s exploitation flick? Sign me up!

It should be established right from the start that Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is not a perfect film. There are too many quirks in character to make it wholly successful.

Streetdance 3D may have gone down well with critics and audiences worldwide, but it must have gone down like a lead balloon at the head offices of Summit Entertainment, Offspring Entertainment and Touchstone Pictures. The studios had been well and truly beaten to the punch, their highly successful Step Up series’ forthcoming dalliance into the third dimension ankle-tapped by a younger, keener and meaner opponent.

You undoubtedly find Conan the Barbarian reprehensible, but that’s all going to change after you catch the Conan spin-off that eluded both John Milius and Oliver Stone. (Most probably not) coming to a stage near you soon is Conan the Barbarian: The Musical. I didn’t know Conan’s quest for vengeance against Thulsa Doom could get any more tune-worthy, but listening to ‘Crom’, the opening number, I’ve been proven wrong. Very much the chorus piece, ‘Crom’ sums up Conan’s story in a succinct three minutes: his mother’s on-the-spot beheading, his father’s demise at the gnashing jaws of Thulsa’s dogs, the young man’s subsequent slavery and then his adulthood quest for revenge against the delicately coiffed wizard. You’ll experience all the highlights – the Wheel of Pain, Conan eating vultures, the giant snake thingo (to say more would be to give the plot away) and, of course, the ‘lamentation of the women’. Why am I still writing? Just check it out below. Be warned: your housemates will quickly tire of you singing this in the shower.

Have a conversation with someone in the recording industry and you’re bound to come away wanting to cut your wrists. CD sales are down. The internet’s a bitch. Music piracy will be the death of us all.

Timing in life is of course everything. Still, the producers behind The Breakfast Club: A XXX Porn Parody must have had a few moments deliberation before green lighting the latest in a long history of adult variations on classic films. The news of John Hughes untimely passing isn’t even a year old and has created renewed interest in his impressive oeuvre – which includes 80s classics such as Sixteen Candles and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – but even he wouldn’t have predicted the spawning of a rollicking and frolicking take on his most famous film, The Breakfast Club. Check out the wigs, have a listen to the Simple Minds redux and boggle at the concept of an erotic film based on teenagers (although some may simply be thankful they don’t have to see Emilio Estevez sans duds). The parody’s one note of interest is perhaps the appearance of Faye Reagan, the lady who made American Apparel adverts dangerous. The trailer is super tame and comes across almost as a parody of a parody – regardless, it may not be safe for work.

It says a lot about the renaissance of third dimension cinema and geeky glasses that for the last two weeks I’ve been tempting all sorts of potential 1s with an invitation to Shrek 3D. The latest instalment in the long-running Dreamworks franchise is in fact called Shrek Forever After, but why bother with all those extra syllables? It’s Shrek. In 3D.

Henry & June is perhaps better known for the creation of a new classification than it is for its actual qualities as a piece of celluloid. Upon initial release the film was stamped with an X, but having had to wrestle with The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover and Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer the year before, the MPAA finally decided to christen a new rating, the NC-17.

In 1994 Spike Lee dialled things down a bit for Crooklyn, a wistful but unglamorised look at the lower-middle class Brooklyn of his youth. Written with his siblings, Joie and Cinque, the characters in this tender and frequently very funny film shimmer with an intimacy that would be hard to capture in more traditional material.

When watching this 1985 feature, it becomes hard to believe that the stage play actually appeared after the silver screen version was filmed. Most of the action is confined to the prison cell of the two protagonists and there’s a distinctively talky tone, the viewer having to concentrate hard to avoid getting lost among the layers and layers of dialogue.

It would be hard to find a film more purely disappointing than The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. In 1982 it was the right film at the right time with what should have been the right stars, but somewhere along the line the point was lost.

The filmmakers behind Iron Man were saddled with an interesting problem after the big budget thrill ride that constituted their first feature effort: what to do with a superhero who’s virtually indestructible? There are only so many tanks and fighter jets you can throw at Tony Stark and the attendant audience before everybody gets tired of the fun and games, and it’s an issue made worse when you don’t have the novelty value that the first film so frequently fell back on.