Matt Shea
RubySoho
Morgan Bell
Cibbuano
David O'Connell
Mountain Fog
Who is at fault for all these Hollywood remakes and adaptations?
February 20th 2008 22:36
Let me rephrase that in a different context. There's quite a bit of fury of the willingness of Hollywood to make an endless stream of remakes and adaptations... Bryn on Horrorphile has already howled about all the horror classics being remade.
Yesterday, I posted a long article on the differences between Richard Matheson's original novel, I Am Legend, and the 2007 film adaptation. The Will Smith-starring film was, in my opinion, complete trash, with few redeeming qualities.
Today, I asked myself, 'Why?'... certainly, there were some parts of 'I Am Legend' that were ruined by the incompetent CGI, but in general, director Francis Lawrence did what he could.
No, we can't lay the blame on the director for the entire mess. After all, it was the screenplay that was flawed, that eliminated all the strong themes from Matheson's original work.
So I dug. Then I dug a little deeper, uncovering an diabolical force in Hollywood, conspiring to ruin all your favourite movies and books. I found the source of the remake fever, the reason behind Hollywood studios rushing to jam the theatres with retreads.
Akiva Goldsman.
He's a screenwriter/producer that has been around since the 90s. He's so deeply ingrained in the Hollywood studios that no one has any idea of who he is, or what he's done.
Let's break it down, shall we?
- in 1994 and 1996, he wrote the screenplays for "The Client" and "A Time to Kill", two John Grisham novels... both Goldsman and Grisham are credited as screenwriters.
- in 1995, he wrote "Batman Forever". Directed by Joel Schumacher, it's widely acknowledged as 'the second-worst Batman movie ever made'. Two years later, he would write the script for the 'worst Batman movie ever made', "Batman and Robin", the movie with the infamous Bat-nipples, and the universally panned dialogue.
- in '98, the film adaptation of "Lost in Space".
- also in '98, the adaptation of Alice Hoffman's novel, "Practical Magic".
- in 2001, he adapted the unoffical biography of John Nash, A Beautiful Mind... his screenplay would win an Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay.
- in 2004, he wrote a lacklustre adaptation of Asimov's classic, I, Robot.
- in 2005, "Cinderella Man", a script he wrote with another writer, based on the true story of James J. Braddock.
- in 2006, "The Da Vinci Code", adapted from Dan Brown's limp noodle novel.
- finally, last year, the screenplay for "I Am Legend". Terrible movie, awful script, huge piles of money.
- it doesn't end there, though... in 2009, his adaptation of Dan Brown's "Angels and Demons" will be released.
Additionally, Goldsman has acted as producer for "Starsky & Hutch", "Constantine", "Poseidon" and "Mr. and Mrs. Smith", all remakes or adaptations from other sources.
In short, Akiva Goldsman has made an entire career out of rehashing other people's work.
According to IMDb, only one of his screenplays has been original, and even that sounds contrived and cliched.
Akiva Goldsman represents the Hollywood mindset. He, assuredly, lives in a big mansion and goes to Playboy parties, where he frolicks with siliconed girls in a fake jungle swimming pool. That's his life, hoarding piles and piles of money, made off of adapting other people's work.
I'm not saying it's plagiarism... certainly, the original creators were credited and paid out. But there's the end effect: Goldsman is the baseline standard for Hollywood, one of the reasons why we'll see an unending tide of horrible remakes and adaptations.
It's his formula that bothers me, as well. Pandering to the lowest common denominator, he takes a good movie or book, strips away the original depth, scrapes off the heavy stuff, then repackages it with more action, tacky romantic sequences and horribly predictable endings.
Then sit back and watch the money come in.
I'm calling for an immediate boycott of Goldsman's scripts.
Bah!
*this image is from the IMDb page on Goldsman.
Yesterday, I posted a long article on the differences between Richard Matheson's original novel, I Am Legend, and the 2007 film adaptation. The Will Smith-starring film was, in my opinion, complete trash, with few redeeming qualities.
Today, I asked myself, 'Why?'... certainly, there were some parts of 'I Am Legend' that were ruined by the incompetent CGI, but in general, director Francis Lawrence did what he could.
No, we can't lay the blame on the director for the entire mess. After all, it was the screenplay that was flawed, that eliminated all the strong themes from Matheson's original work.
So I dug. Then I dug a little deeper, uncovering an diabolical force in Hollywood, conspiring to ruin all your favourite movies and books. I found the source of the remake fever, the reason behind Hollywood studios rushing to jam the theatres with retreads.
Akiva Goldsman.
He's a screenwriter/producer that has been around since the 90s. He's so deeply ingrained in the Hollywood studios that no one has any idea of who he is, or what he's done.
Let's break it down, shall we?
- in 1994 and 1996, he wrote the screenplays for "The Client" and "A Time to Kill", two John Grisham novels... both Goldsman and Grisham are credited as screenwriters.
- in 1995, he wrote "Batman Forever". Directed by Joel Schumacher, it's widely acknowledged as 'the second-worst Batman movie ever made'. Two years later, he would write the script for the 'worst Batman movie ever made', "Batman and Robin", the movie with the infamous Bat-nipples, and the universally panned dialogue.
- in '98, the film adaptation of "Lost in Space".
- also in '98, the adaptation of Alice Hoffman's novel, "Practical Magic".
- in 2001, he adapted the unoffical biography of John Nash, A Beautiful Mind... his screenplay would win an Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay.
- in 2004, he wrote a lacklustre adaptation of Asimov's classic, I, Robot.
- in 2005, "Cinderella Man", a script he wrote with another writer, based on the true story of James J. Braddock.
- in 2006, "The Da Vinci Code", adapted from Dan Brown's limp noodle novel.
- finally, last year, the screenplay for "I Am Legend". Terrible movie, awful script, huge piles of money.
- it doesn't end there, though... in 2009, his adaptation of Dan Brown's "Angels and Demons" will be released.
Additionally, Goldsman has acted as producer for "Starsky & Hutch", "Constantine", "Poseidon" and "Mr. and Mrs. Smith", all remakes or adaptations from other sources.
In short, Akiva Goldsman has made an entire career out of rehashing other people's work.
According to IMDb, only one of his screenplays has been original, and even that sounds contrived and cliched.
Akiva Goldsman represents the Hollywood mindset. He, assuredly, lives in a big mansion and goes to Playboy parties, where he frolicks with siliconed girls in a fake jungle swimming pool. That's his life, hoarding piles and piles of money, made off of adapting other people's work.
I'm not saying it's plagiarism... certainly, the original creators were credited and paid out. But there's the end effect: Goldsman is the baseline standard for Hollywood, one of the reasons why we'll see an unending tide of horrible remakes and adaptations.
It's his formula that bothers me, as well. Pandering to the lowest common denominator, he takes a good movie or book, strips away the original depth, scrapes off the heavy stuff, then repackages it with more action, tacky romantic sequences and horribly predictable endings.
Then sit back and watch the money come in.
I'm calling for an immediate boycott of Goldsman's scripts.
Bah!
*this image is from the IMDb page on Goldsman.
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Comment by Damo
Surely he cannot live forever.
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Comment by saul
My prize for the 'best character assasinated by a film' goes to Judge Dredd....what a shameful way to mess about with my childhood hero...
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
I never saw Judge Dredd, nor read the comics...
Comment by saul
And I think studios are bang on correct with their marketing, why else would reality TV be so popular? Or are you saying that the general population wants more than a shitty movie and a hamburger from macdonalds? After all, I am legend was a blockbuster...apparently.
Comment by Miss Natalie
there are only a couple of movies ive thought the remake was 'new and improved' note, i didnt say *better* they were Sabrina and Oceans 11 - not the sequels.
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
I think I've seen practical magic, too - I didn't like it. Goldsman has quite a weak portfolio, if you ask me...
Comment by StarWarsGeek