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Reviews, previews and chuckling and snorting...

20/20 Filmsight - May 2007

Zombie Movie (from Horrorphile)

May 30th 2007 21:34
One of the great things about writing at Orble is that you get great tips about things you'd never normally do or watch.

Case in point: Bryn wrote a great piece on Zombie Movie, a dark comedy about three New Zealand bogans trapped in a car surrounded by zombies. Hil-arious...

It's short and sweet, but the quality of the production makes it thoroughly enjoyable. Watching the three guys divide the last of their potato chips is a precious, precious moment...

The best part is that the filmmakers are distributing this short for free, though you need to download Steam to watch it.

Read Bryn's Review!


Zombie Movie website!
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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: Australasian
   


Waiting

May 30th 2007 18:34
Emmanuelle Chriqui Entourage
I rarely review terrible movies, unless they're fresh out of the gate and I want to warn people away from them. It's quite a departure for me, then, to review Waiting, a 2005 comedy about the 'wacky' and 'zany' world of hospitality.

It's full of kooky characters! And hilarious pranks! And wild antics! Ooooh, and lots of sexual intrigue. Yum yum.

It's awful, from start to finish, despite the popular actors in the movie:

Ryan Reynolds, the Van Wilder guy.

Anna Faris, the Scary Movie girl.

Justin Long, the 'I'm a Mac' commercial guy.

Luis Guzman, the guy who always plays an ugly Latino.

Dane Cook, a comedian that I don't like, and one that steals from Louis CK.

Yep, it's a pretty young, hip cast, aimed at nailing the 18-22 demographic. It tries to play all the angles, with a little bit of romance, a little whiny self-introspection, and a lot of obvious humour.

The whole thing is a predictable mishmash of cliche and obvious moments. Why did I sit through the entire broken-glass obstacle course?

Emmanuelle Chriqui Entourage Waiting
Ah, for notable Montreal actress, Emmanuelle Chriqui. Oh, Lord, is she stunning. Sublime! Born into a Jewish Moroccan family, she's all dark-skinned and elegant, so out of place among the lesser mortals in the film. She plays a lesbian, fleetingly, for a couple of scenes.

It's almost worth it, just to see her in the movie, to sit through torturous monologues by Ryan Reynolds, reprising the same character he does in every movie, the edgy, funny, ladykiller with the tousled hair and the weird looks.

God, this was bad.

Instead of concluding remarks, let me just use some bathroom words to impress upon you the gravity of seeing this movie: poo-poo. Pee pee. Ding dong. Tinkle. Whizz, plop, galump.


I say: I work at a cafe in Sydney, and I can say - with certainty - that it's almost always more amusing to wash dishes and wipe tables than sitting through this steaming piece of filmacular excrement.

See it for: If you're really not interested in fabulous Moroccan lesbians from Montreal, then I suppose you might coincidentally laugh at one of the jokes. No more than one, though, or you must be sub-human.






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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: Americanas
   


30 Most Memorable Star Wars Quotes

May 29th 2007 03:47
From Geeks Of Doom, this list of the 30 most memorable quotes from the original Star Wars film.

With the 30th anniversary of the film hitting the solar system like a thunderous blizzard, geeks are going nuts offering their tributes to the original groundbreaking film. Some selections


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: C'est la vie!
   


Carlito's Way

May 28th 2007 07:09
After Scarface, people said that no other gangster movie would come close, though there's still a lot of squabbling among cinephiles over which movie holds the top rank.

Personally, Al Pacino's Cuban accent was a little laughable, I thought


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: Americanas
   


Sideways

May 25th 2007 18:49
Sideways Film poster
Sideways was an incredibly popular 2004 movie from America, with no big names, a lot of wine and a tremendous amount of influence over the public. Two friends go on a wine-tasting bachelor party in the Santa Ynez Valley, one to appreciate the wine and the other to score with hot chicks before his wedding.

It's a road trip movie of sorts, without the college antics of Road Trip or the cool defiance of Easy Rider. The startling difference is that these two boys are undeniably pathetic, entering middle age with a sense of lethargic unenthusiasm and disappointment


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: Americanas
   


Letting actors direct their own movies

May 24th 2007 23:24
It's the start of the new/old/new(again) trend - giving actors their own chair with the 'Director' label on it. And a megaphone.

Clint Eastwood made several notable films that captured the Academy's hearts, making movies ripped off his mentors, like Sergio Leone


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: C'est la vie!
   


Land of the Dead

May 23rd 2007 01:39
Land of the Dead still

The fourth episode in George A. Romero's Dead series was a long time in coming, was highly anticipated, and generally a disappointment to horror fans.

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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: Americanas
   


Mumblecore

May 21st 2007 19:06
This article from the Guardian Film website holds the bat for the indie American scene, humourously termed 'mumblecore'. Most people think of the word 'slacker' when they hear about these aimless, seemingly-vapid films that center on young adults and their indifference.

It's a style of filmmaking that eschews big name actors and fancy effects for realism


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: C'est la vie!
   


Cannibal Holocaust

May 18th 2007 13:28
It was banned in most countries when it first came out, and the director was charged with making a snuff film. I watched it yesterday and it seemed like a cleverly written commentary on the brutality of civilized humanity.

There's disgust, though, mainly at the scenes of animal cruelty... a turtle is slaughtered and eaten, a small pig is kicked and shot, a monkey has its face cut off. Itīs been suggested that the natives that the filmmakers were working with insisted on doing it the right way, but itīs still appalling on film


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: European
   


15 Great Action Films

May 16th 2007 18:16
It's not my list - it's from Pajiba, and it lists 15 Great Action Films (of All Time!).

It's a controversial list, for sure... action fans love a wide spectrum of movies, and everyone has their favourites. The action movie has been around for a long time, so a complete list would take someone with a thorough knowledge of what's going on


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: C'est la vie!
   


What every film critic must know

May 15th 2007 18:47
That's not my title. It's the title of the post on the Guardian film blog, entitled, predictably, 'What every film critic must know'.

I railed before about how being a film critic is nearly useless in a sea of Hollywood blockbusters and people that pay to watch them, leaving the really original, clever movies to flounder in the indie theatre market


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: C'est la vie!
   


Half Nelson Preview

May 15th 2007 17:40
I haven't seen it yet, but people are going insane in the membrane over Ryan Gosling in Half Nelson, where he plays a rehabilitated crack addict that teaches high school.

It's almost like Gangster's Paradise needs to play while Michelle Pfeiffer enters the classroom, but we've got blisteringly acute pain from these characters


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: Preview
   


Hot Fuzz Interview with Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright

May 14th 2007 18:24
Hot Fuzz poster Simon Pegg Nick Frost
One of my favourite movies of 2007 was the buddy cop satire Hot Fuzz from Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg.

The AV Club has a thoroughly entertaining interview with Wright, Pegg and co-star Nick Frost... you can definitely tell that these three get along famously, and are sincerely funny people


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: European
   


Esquire Magazine: 60 Things Worth Shortening Your Life For

May 13th 2007 18:07
From Esquire Magazine comes this list of things that are bad for you, but are also worth doing once.

I think it's important to realize that a lot of the items on this list are unhealthy foods found only in America


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: C'est la vie!
   


George Bush becomes a Jedi

May 11th 2007 18:24
From Pajiba, I found this Robot Chicken clip of George Bush realizing he is strong with the Force.


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: Short Films
   


On violence in America

May 10th 2007 22:56
Luckily, I haven't been the target of any 'street violence' while I've been in Baltimore.

It's considerable luck, since I've been in some shady parts of town. I had reservations at the Holiday Inn, but when I went there, the receptionist told me 'No, you're not booked in here. This is a Holiday Inn. You're at the Holiday Inn Express
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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: C'est la vie!
   


300

May 10th 2007 18:19
No pictures, no links.

I didn't like 300. I didn't even finish it


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: Americanas
   


Baltimore

May 9th 2007 17:51
Just a quick note to say that I'm in Baltimore and it's pretty interesting.

Not beautiful like Sydney, though... in fact, I'm always surprised by the sheer number of decrepit buildings and streets. I've wandered into some bad areas by accident


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: C'est la vie!
   


On Vacation

May 8th 2007 18:18
Aloha from the beautiful tropical island of Baltimore!

I'm on vacation for the month of May, so I'll be sipping pina coladas from half-shell coconuts, playing in the waves with bikini-wearing hula dancers. It's unlucky to not be me


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: C'est la vie!
   


Martin Scorcese to restore classic films

May 7th 2007 18:01
Martin Scorcese in the 70's
I thought it was all bad news at first, but upon reading the article, it seems that Marty has his heart in the right place. He's determined to restore old film stocks, as the process used back in those days are potentially corrosive with age, and their eating the films to dust.

Martin Scorcese article on The Guardian
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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: C'est la vie!
   


Looking forward to the days to come (or why it's great to be a film critic)

May 7th 2007 08:11
In two previous post, I lamented about how the idea of a film critic was anachronistic, that there was no need for us to compare the latest movies to older classics and undiscovered gems. That throwing rose petals at every piece of steaming manure from the Hollywood studios was the way to a bigger audience.

I lamented and it made me sad, in a way. I think it makes all critics sad... while I haven't devoured the body of cinema like Bryn or John Doe, I've seen enough great films to easily eclipse most of what plays in the big cinemaplexes


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: C'est la vie!
   


TV in America

May 6th 2007 02:08
It's my first day in America - I'm in Baltimore - and it already feels like a totally foreign land. The accents are disorientating, even though my own accent is very similar.

I asked someone for 'takeaway' and they went 'hunh


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: C'est la vie!
   


28 Weeks Later

May 2nd 2007 23:29
28 Weeks Later Infected in London
Thanks to Vice Magazine, I had the chance to attend the preview screener of 28 Weeks Later, the sequel to the smash hit 28 Days Later.

The premise is vaguely zombie-like: in 28 Days Later, an infectious virus is responsible for turning the UK into a wasteland, with the Infected consumed with murderous rage. The virus is easily spread by bodily fluids, and the onset of the infection happens within seconds


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: European
   


The Award for Best Film That No One's Seen

May 1st 2007 23:44
I'm snorting in disbelief. MTV has created a new award, the Best Summer Movie You Haven't Seen, in order to drum up some teeny excitement for their bland, over-commercialized award show.

Audiences will have a chance to vote for films they haven't seen. How do you vote for something you know nothing about? Well, it's not so different from voting for an American President - just fill in the box. Or mark it with a checkmark. Or an X. But don't draw outside the box or we'll disallow your ballet, you fool


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Posted By: Cibbuano - Category: Bizarre
   


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