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Reviews, previews and chuckling and snorting...

20/20 Filmsight - August 2006

Heidi - Film Review

August 31st 2006 23:30
Shirley Temple - Heidi movie poster
Heidi is a 1937s film adaptation of a tremendously famous series of children's books from Switzerland.

Ah, these old movies from the Goldern Era of Film... Shirley Temple plays Heidi, a little orphaned girl sent to live with her grandfather in the Alps.

Shirley Temple was a huge star in the 30s, known for her dedication to acting... she'd memorize her lines and choreography before shooting began, and was an accomplished tap dancer at the age of 5.

Of course, when we watch Heidi now, the dialogue and acting seems stilted, and the plot seems predictable. After all, ours is a generation weaned on fragmented timelines like Pulp Fiction and Memento, and we like our dialogue sharp and witty.

Shirley Temple Headshot
There's something alluring about this story, though. It appeals to the child in all of us, and there's something so pure and loyal about Heidi that we can look past the faults of the film. I won't go into the details, but Heidi struggles against her aunt, who can only be labelled as evil, to return to her grandfather and live in the mountains.

The story resonates in these modern times on that level. Heidi struggles against the cruel adults in the film, much the same way that children are targetted today. For all the fantastic technology we've invented and all the thick books we've read, our society is still unable to deal with crime against children.

Heidi wins in the end, of course - anything but a happy ending would have been deplored by the country - but it's still a nail-biting finish.

It's quite satisfying to watch these old movies... because of their age, they're unfettered with computer graphics, intricate stunts and orchestrated soundtracks. It's pleasing to the eye, as if you were actually looking in a window to another world.

In Heidi, we're treated to a beautifully decorated world in the Swiss Alps, and on the snowy fields of Germany, where policemen have funny hats, and everyone rides around on horse-drawn sleds.


I say
: It's worth a watch for the Shirley Temple antics, which are pretty cute. The story is a feel-good pill, like a mug of hot chocolate with those little marshmallows.

See it for: The butler is particularly dry-witted and he tries to catch a monkey. If that's not good cinema, what is?




* the movie poster of Heidi is taken from the Amazon website

the picture of Shirley Temple is from Dr. Macro's Movie Scans
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Femtroopers - Female Geeks go Wild

August 30th 2006 23:43
Update #3: The meme doesn't die... more and more girls are electing to get the molded uniform of the Femtrooper, inserting themselves into the midnight fantasies of entire battalions of fans.

Femtroopers hanging out, standing down!

*this image is from Delta Epsilon Blog

A Femtrooper with a belly button tattoo - I guess she'd be an easily identified trooper...
Femtrooper with belly button tattoo and gun
*this image is from Les Jones: WOTD

It draws the eye, doesn't it? If I was firing into a group of Stormtroopers hiding behind a doorway, I'd unwittingly fire into that bellybutton over and over.

Some of the women that read this site were shocked by the sheer enthusiasm of the male readers. A comment:

"But they look so silly!! Are boys really so easily pleased??"

An anonymous commenter posted a sincere, though heated reply:

"It is like catching a glimpse into the handbag of a fine looking women and seeing that she has a set of roleplaying dice.

Geekness is not a male only domain but it comes close at times.

True Geek Chicks are a rare commodity and we love and cherish everyone of them."

Update #2: Here's a random 'Femtroopers on Shore Leave' picture that I found on the awesome 'Stormtroopers in love' post from BoingBoing. What the-!?

Femtroopers on Shore Leave Hula Hoop



Update: I found a new femtroopers picture on this polish site.... not sure where it's originally from, though.

Femtroopers Girls in Stormtrooper outfits


Two Femtroopers


I didn't even know that this was a 'thing'. I thought the geekiness of Star Wars was limited to teenagers in Darth Vader costumes calling their mom to come pick them up from the cinema. That, or old men in Darth Vader costumes trading insults with a fake dog.

I was wrong! Boy, was I ever...

Femtrooper at SF Convention
It appears that seemingly-normal women are getting custome-made Stormtrooper outfits made, with the waist cutoff and the breasts molded in. SFGate has the breaking news on this weird, but adolescently-cool phenomenon.

I have to admit that I feel some confusion here... I mean, it's weird and geeky and odd and just, well, weird. At the same time, however, I felt my pulse quicken at the sight of that open flesh and the suggestion of boobies.

No. I will not look up more pictures of Femtroopers.

Especially not on Google Image Search. That would be the beginning of a long downwards spiral into depravity and sin.

And you know it'll take about 10 seconds for some genius with a DV camera to make the first Femtrooper porn. With light sabre penises and vaginal-looking Death Stars.

(found on Digg)




* the first picture is credited to this webpage and the second on this webpage. Both pictures are used here for commentary on Femtroopers.





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Gone Bad - Zombie Spaghetti Western

August 30th 2006 18:35
Now that every Larry with a computer can make acceptable looking CGI shorts, we're seeing a lot of detritus appearing on the Internet. Everything from 'hilarious' GTA spoofs to Halo machinima episodes.

I usually give it a miss. How can I be expected to watch every short film that tries to be the next Jarmusch


[ Click here to read more ]
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New Plastic Man Pilot

August 29th 2006 19:05
Plastic Man is one of the strangest superheros that has ever been created.

His special power? His body is made of plastic, I guess, and he can turn into anything: a whale, a pencil, a pasta machine


[ Click here to read more ]
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Unusual Workout Video

August 28th 2006 18:08
I've never really understood the appeal of workout videos. I mean, you've got a recording of someone else getting in shape - this is supposed to motivate you?

Working out was a lot more flamboyant in the 80s. Scientists were coming up with exciting new materials to dye in fluoroescent colours, and hairstyles were poofy and voluminous. Take, for example, this video


[ Click here to read more ]
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Eat Drink Man Woman Movie Poster
I rented this movie last night because I saw that Ang Lee, director of Brokeback Mountain and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, directed and wrote this movie glorifying Chinese cuisine, linking it to romance and sensuality.

It's called Eat Drink Man Woman, or Yin Shi Nan Nu in Mandarin, and it was Lee's first movie filmed in Taiwan. It was, according to some, a highly acclaimed success


[ Click here to read more ]
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Extreme Elephantiasis

August 27th 2006 18:15
From YesButNoButYes, a horrible parasite gives this man Elephantiasis of the scrotum.

This parasite causes lymphatic filariasis, which can lead to swollen limbs and hardened, rough skin. It occurs most regularly in Africa, where contiminated water can contain all kinds of parasites


[ Click here to read more ]
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Anime Boobie Mousepad - 3D


I swear I'd be more productive if I had a mousepad like this


[ Click here to read more ]
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I heard about these from my friend back in Canada, Sweet and Sunny Lo, and, despite my best efforts not to laugh, I actually found it pretty funny.

It's the SNL skit, Celebrity Jeopardy with Sean Connery, Burt Reynolds and French Stewart


[ Click here to read more ]
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Frank Zappa on Crossfire

August 24th 2006 18:35
Back in 1986, the US government got pretty steamy about questionable matter in music.

It's a common current - every new genre of music is embraced by youth and deplored by the establishment. Elvis was banned, The Beatles were accused of subverting children and Marilyn Manson was the prime suspect in the Columbine shootings


[ Click here to read more ]
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Prenez vos places - Places Everyone - Movie Poster
Opening Saturday, August 25, Prenez vos places is a hilarious bilingual film from Quebec, Canada that chews through youthful existentialism with the fervor of an aerosol can punctured with a nail gun.

Of course, I may be biased since I was the screenwriter for this film. A review might be just slightly biased. For example


[ Click here to read more ]
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From Grow-a-Brain:

Eddie Murphy used to be the man, man. After Raw and Delirious, he kicked around with Beverly Hills Cop, Trading Places and a baker's dozen of hilarious public appearances


[ Click here to read more ]
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Beerfest Preview

August 23rd 2006 01:21
I posted on this movie before, but now that the trailer is out, I wanted to remind all you comedy fiends to go out and see Broken Lizard's Beerfest, when it opens on August 25th.

What's it about? Why should I tell you, when you can watch the trailer


[ Click here to read more ]
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Basic Instinct - Film Review

August 21st 2006 22:05
Basic Instinct Poster
One of the highest grossing movies of the 90s, Basic Instinct has left a visible mark in the collective consciousness of our generation. I never saw it, till yesterday, but I deeply understood that the infamous 'leg crossing interrogation' scene was something to hold your breath back.

It was with some raucous enthusiasm that I watched Basic Instinct last night with a female friend. During the first scene, an energentic sex scene leads to the grisly demise of the tied-up man, I knew we'd be in for Sex & Violence


[ Click here to read more ]
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Transformers Cast Announced

August 20th 2006 23:29
Transformers fighting
Today from I Watch Stuff!, a list of the Transformers that will be in the upcoming live-action film.

Naturally, the Autobots will be headed up by Optimus Prime, the Decepticons by Megatron, but most notably absent is Soundwave, the ghetto blaster Transformer


[ Click here to read more ]
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Jiggling Anime Breasts

August 19th 2006 19:04
MATURE CONTENT
   


Family Feud Blooper - 'September'

August 18th 2006 19:19
You know Family Feud?

It's that game show where people try to guess answers based on a survey of 100 people. The Australian version has that guy that looks like Elmer Fudd, according to the Feud


[ Click here to read more ]
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Alizée Jacotey music video

August 17th 2006 19:30
Alizée Jacotey
Burning, burning hot!

So, I have this 'thing' for French girls... growing up in Canada, French girls were the unattainable, the forbidden apples. When I moved to the French part of Canada, my infatuation became worse as I got to know several French girls who had a sense of humour, were casual and easy-going


[ Click here to read more ]
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Jiggling Anime Song?

August 16th 2006 00:04
Anime girl dancing with a leek
I'm not sure what language this is in, or even what this is about. I think it's in Swedish, but it could easily be another Scandanavian language.

Seriously, I'm not even sure what to say about this. It's an animation of a pair of heaving, bouncing breasts, with an anime head, singing some catchy Europop song. I think


[ Click here to read more ]
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Bruce Lee Cartoon

August 14th 2006 19:52


I don't know where this came from, or where it was made, but I do know that this is the awesomest piece of fabulousity that has ever rained down from the Seven Heavens


[ Click here to read more ]
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Tenacious D - Pick of Destiny Trailer

August 13th 2006 22:54
Jack Black sticks to what he does best: acting like a chubby lunatic and pretending to be a rock god.

Is it funny? Sure, why not? Is Tenacious D funny? Sure, funny like your mom's youngest brother, the one with the muscle car, the one that still 'parties' and listens to Whitesnake


[ Click here to read more ]
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Bear on Trampoline

August 11th 2006 19:10


When there's a bear stuck in your tree, what do you do? Sure, you can call the Wildlife Services or the Rangers, but they've got no better idea than to stick a trampoline under the bear and shoot it with a tranquilizer


[ Click here to read more ]
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The Castle - Film Review

August 10th 2006 19:23
When I first moved to Australia, I lived with an American guy that insisted that I watch The Castle.

'It's fuckin' funny,' he said, picking at his big feet, 'It's the best fuckin' Aussie movie, ever


[ Click here to read more ]
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I found this old article from the Guardian on the Coen Brothers' lacklustre recent (at the time) films.

Though it was written in 2004, John Patterson's editorial still stands today... the last movie the Coen Brothers produced was The Ladykillers, which received a lukewarm response from audiences


[ Click here to read more ]
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This year, my hometown hockey team made it, against all odds, to the championship finals of the National Hockey League, to fight against the evil Carolina Hurricanes for the Stanley Cup.

There were some bitter feelings between the Americans and the Canadians... in the semi-finals, the San Jose fans booed the Canadian anthem, stirring up vicious resentment and prompting the RCMP to burn the only bridge to Canada


[ Click here to read more ]